i just had sex bonerless
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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