ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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