I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
