Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
