Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
