Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
