My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
