oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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