I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
