Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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