Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
