hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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