He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Mom said you looked used
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
