remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
