this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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