Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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