sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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