I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
