oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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