is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Let's paint friendship bongs
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
