Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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