How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
