i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
its not stalking. its research.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
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