he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
