I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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