cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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