if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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