If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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