you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
