Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
