So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
