I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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