she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
