Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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