I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
