but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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