walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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