i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
now i know why i became what i already was.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
