I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
