Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
