Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Randomize
