HIV tests are more positive than that guy
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Dick very happy bro
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
