New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
