So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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