Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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