omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
