I got chris browned last night
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
