i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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