my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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