how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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