wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
