I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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