I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
